Heartbreak

 I miss you in the quiet ways.

In the pauses between messages that never arrive,

in the phone that never rings.

Distance seems effortless for you,

while I exhaust myself trying to close it.

I have tried everything to bring you back.

Even when your words cut me,

I choose silence over curses,

because loving you still feels heavier

than hating you ever could.

I would give anything to have you in my life again,

yet you look at me as if I am already gone

as if my presence makes no difference,

as if my absence would not be noticed at all.

And that is what breaks me the most

not the loss,

but the feeling that even if I disappeared,

you would continue untouched.

My heart aches each time I hold space for you,

realizing that loving you

has become the 

loneliest place I know.